did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
