His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The best revenge is premature balding
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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