Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
