WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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