I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
