Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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