I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
