I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize