yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
