Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize