How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
