I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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