So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
