You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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