"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize