my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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