Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
