Plan B is the new Plan A
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
