sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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