elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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