His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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