She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
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