You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
