He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
