They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
