remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
