how can u be prego again
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
