dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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