Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
