Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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