i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
