I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
