the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
honey bunches of taint.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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