Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
