Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
