Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You need a sexual gate keeper
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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