I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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