He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
