I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
