once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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