no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
