I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just found a bag of teeth...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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