I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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