Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
