I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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