Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize