Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry krossbars hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(212): View more from New York

Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles

Fav 5 891 1273
share tweet
(810): View more from Michigan

I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.

Fav 31 2036 6922
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.

Fav 12 1220 5334
share tweet
(515): View more from Iowa

In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.

Fav 7 2088 1225
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.

Fav 8 3436 1414
share tweet
(530): View more from California

I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will

Fav 4 3767 1025
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine

Fav 6 2451 1038
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face

Fav 3 877 453
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.

Fav 0 67 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT