I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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