i just google imaged poop.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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