I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
