I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
