Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
love makes seman taste better
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize