Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
it's like heaven, but drunker
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
