Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
