I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
