you would pick up someone in the library
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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