it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
you never un-have a 4some
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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