WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize