Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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