I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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