i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
