ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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